There’s nowt so queer as folk

We all may have, one time or the other, encountered the suffering that goes along with someone who thinks they are closer to you than they actually are. Sometimes its down right funny and sometimes, just sometimes it may border on the impossible!

In today’s world of virtual relationships is it wrong for someone to think they are in one? And does it matter that the person they think they are in a relationship with doesn’t know? Yes, you read right… so read on.

There was this guy in my graduate college who I barely knew beyond a “hi & bye” and some small talk. I get a friend request on Orkut  (Yes, I checked this site still exists even though the whole world and that includes me is now on Facebook).

One fine day Mr. Joe Bloggs started bothering me in a very slow and steady manner. He was accepted as a friend purely due to me knowing he existed in one of my classes. Slowly I started getting requests elsewhere on Gtalk etc. Random weird messages overflowing with familiarity popped out of nowhere. Thoughts of who the hell Mr. JB thinks he is were omnipresent every time I saw any of his messages.

With such a mindset, I log on to Gtalk one day and pop comes up an offline. “That caption on Orkut, is it because of me?”, it read.

Just the day before, I had changed my Orkut caption to read something like: “Dumb founded by an equation gone wrong, I was never good at Chemistry”. I was facing a relationship crisis with one of my best friends (now my husband). I was really hurting and chose to vocalize it with a caption update.

By the time I digested the offline message, Mr. JB was for me a step further than the last standing moron from the barbaric ages. This guy was happily cooing in some corner of the world thinking I am dedicating my caption on Orkut to him - a person I have barely known all my life.

But wait, this is not the reason I had to write this up… there’s more. When I told him he is certainly not the reason for the caption update, he went on to blabber about how I cleared his doubt by confirming he isn’t the reason for the caption.

Still further, he said, “I hate breaking hearts and had promised myself that I won’t fall in love again! Hence wanted to confirm.”

I was already in a nervous wreck because of my own personal heart burns and this person was speaking in riddles without making any sense. Finally he says, “Some common friend in UK asked me before meeting up with you, whether it would be alright with me as you are my girl friend and I clarified saying there is nothing between us. Its good that you have cleared it. Thanks for it.”

Firstly he mentioned some common friend as though he and I were a part of 100 social circles. There was only one set with whom I’d have any friends who knew him too and I had met only one of them whilst in UK. So who Mr. Common Friend would be was easy to guess but I still couldn’t relate to what was being said. What was the reason for someone from my graduate college to think I was Mr. JB’s GF, a guy whom I didn’t EVER speak to in college? I couldn’t begin to understand how I became known as his GF. All confused and very angry at this guy’s guts to relate something very close to my heart with frivolous imaginations of his own, I decided to shut my laptop and the entire episode off.

I was later narrating this to my BFF. While narrating what had happened I realized what moronic ideas Mr. JB had been harboring. Basically the guy thought I was in love with him ?!!?!?!??!?!??!!?!??!!!!

And not only that, he actually wanted to clarify and console me if needed, if indeed he’d found out I was “still” pining for him.

I am usually pretty direct and straight forward with everyone about my likes and dislikes. So how someone could get an idea of a relation with me where none existed was beyond my understanding. Funnily, in the end it worked well for Mr. JB that he didn’t know me at all. I didn’t even care enough to actually waste my energy giving him a piece of my mind.


One of my very dear British friend, recently mentioned to me a Yorkshire saying, "There’s nowt so queer as folk" which was explained as meaning "There is nothing as queer/weird as people in this world". AMEN.

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